There's two ways in which this story could prevail.
It's been a harsh two months since I have blogged anything on here and I would like to redeem and restart it once again.
This blog is usually treated as an outlet to personify my emotions at any given time.
With the amount of drugs and alcohol consumed in the last few weeks, I can safely say, I am totally burned out. It is not something I am proud of, yet the spiritual experience that I have gained from this fine for time has been unmissable.
I have encountered many issues along the way; ones that include questioning my sexuality, career anxiety, fraying friendships, squandered opportunities and paranoia of being the centre of the joke. My relationships, my family, and health problems, all mixed up in a jungle of self created mazes, only to find myself in a long great struggle to rediscover myself. The core of who I was, has created me today. But who is she? In essence, just a spirit, inhabiting a body, I may have chosen, before birth, to allocate myself on this expedition, to realise what life is. To be a student on the planet, to know where I went wrong before. I honestly believe I have been here before. The amount of deja vu I have been getting has been peculiar.
I also think that may be, according to my friends research, we are all just a collective conciousness, essentially all the same person just different bodies and personalities for the purpose of self expression. Suppose that's one of the morals between becoming a vegetarian, because animals have souls too.
The End is Nigh. I slept with a bible on my chest last night. We are all sinners here, and people don't understand that the magic of the science in which the bible articulates so beautifully in poetry. And I'm only just getting started. I now fear more because the course of the actions I have followed through in my life, have steered me in a direction which has disabled me to follow my dreams. All has been interrupted by sinful thinking. It's not about being a Christian, or loving God, but more about faith.
We all have faith in some shape or form. Whether it be not believing in any thing or labelling yourself under one religion and everything in between. People get upset about religion because they think it is causing all of the wars in the world. But usually it is simply to do with arguments over money and land. People pin it on religion because it is easier to do so. If all the religions were studied, it would be safe to say that at the root of what they believe, it is in peace and the people themselves. So have faith in yourself first, and the rest will come. Your biggest desires are possible if you think about them hard enough, and pray for yourself to have strength to make it your destiny. God is inside you.
So this is the beginning of the end of the first blog entry I have done for a while, and when I come back to it, things will be different again. I wonder what I'll be thinking about next time.
