Vanishing Act

Thank God, I'm back on this fucking unbelievable blog.

I'm guessing it's just somewhere for me to publicly exercise my ego, and it works to some extent. So welcome back, anonymous reader. Even if it's just somewhere for myself to archive a fragment of thoughts from my feeble mind then so be it. Unfortunately my PC belongs in a museum. I joke about this, but it's actually getting beyond a joke now. Another thing, I am supposed to be cracking down with assignments but it's fucking hopeless. I spent the last 2 months bumming around as usual, getting up to all sorts of shit as I always do, "getting up in everyone's grill" and them in return, adding their dirt all over my own shit and it's been catastrophic. I've basically lost everything again. I had this well nice house and an alright job although it didn't account to much and that's ended pretty sourly on my end and well... I'm just fucking sick of life now. 

Every fucking time I start getting somewhere, some fucking asshole (I am growing to strongly dislike the majority of people, which is not uncommon, I am aware) will come and sap all my 'pure' energy, I get started on building connections, creating a schedule and an abundant life (I give credit to spirit) and then some total imbecile will come along and steal it all away from me. I haven't got time to go round pleasing every one else any more. Because every one I ever loved, has fucked off. The epiphany that most people are so brain dead, or on drugs, or I'm simply not getting through to them, is remarkable.

I found a light-workers website, thank goodness. Perhaps now I will be able to pursue my dreams with like minded people for a better world. There is a handful of supporters to my views about the world, and great friendships have blossomed as a result to that over the years. It's really special when you meet someone, especially 'coincidentally' and figure there's this instant warmness between the both of you, before anything has really been said. It's understanding, it's empathy and it's unity. That just about relights my faith in people all over again.

I keep trying to find my 'faith group' and after years at the Baptist Church, then to the Spiritualist church, now I find myself surrounded by undisclosed Pagans *sigh*

My handy tips to chilling out when it all gets a bit too much (not in any particular order):

1. Petting a cat or dog
2. Looking at the stars
3. Listening to music
4. Walking in the park or by a river
5. A nice warm drink
6. Talking to a trusted friend over the phone

I read a book called The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger, near the end the protagonist states, he doesn't like getting close to people, other wise you start to miss them.
I so soaked up that shit, in fact, I think that it is very honest. Another way to keep yourself company is with a fantastic book. I really need to get my teeth into another great novel as the one above. It's got to be mournful, dark and pretentious as fuck.

These sort of stories give me a strange vibration of comfort.

I've decided not to do any more vanishing acts, on the virtual world or the physical plane.

Can't be dreaming all the time, unfortunately. Shit to do.