I went to London and had the worst day of my life.
It began badly and ended up unimaginably worse.
I lost my coach ticket, and had a hurried conversation with the operator in hope of recovering my pass out of here. In plenty of time I arrived at the station and hopped on to a bus.
I wondered how far my soul mates would travel with me, I've been trying to get rid of them and recover my old self. The liberated one from Feb '14. But she has been torn and haunted and ridiculed by ex-lovers and false friendships. Over the last year, I began to 'wake up' and realise that every one, including my self, is just full of shit. Every one on this planet is surviving, the pressures including responsibility and enslavement through money. I can barely take care of myself. I think I might hide in my room from now on, as much as possible. The house is ok, it's warm, it's safe, I can't really ask for much more than that. Just sometimes, wish I'd never left my ex. I'm still really attached to past relationships. I'm so broken and upset about every thing, I'd self diagnose with PTSD of some degree.
When I arrived in London, I had no plans at all. I marginally wished that I had a companion to go with, or that I would conveniently bump into someone to commute around with. Then I decided I would await friendship and let my soul guide me. Some sort of soul searching was on the agenda. I think in retrospective, I allowed this to over-dictate my day in London. I was deeply moved by passer-by's, the vacant stares of a city that has drained their energy and consumed their lives. I felt sapped by the polluted air and headed straight for Hyde Park down Buckingham Palace road (which by the way, I failed to visit) It is impossible to do all of the sights of our Capital in one day; I think for a real hearty experience of London, is to stay for a week, plan everything you want to do and stick to an organised schedule - and revise those metro lines you're going to need! It's fast, affordable but the pace is immense, you won't be prepared for this so it' important to practice some deep breathing and meditative techniques before battle the London crowd!
I walked down the River Serpentine which is very relaxing and spacious, I snapped a bird or two, the morning sky with it's numerous plane trails cascading across in symmetry; I even took my shoes off at one point to, 'ground all that negative energy' - that's a film quote from the 'Wizard Dentist' in How to Lose Friends and Alienate People featuring Simon Pegg. I continued over a rather desolate looking part of Hyde Park (Nikes on my feet and flowered maxi, I was taking in my stride) London 10am is mostly people running late to the office, new mums with babe in tow, and fitness junkies doing ridiculous power walks waving their arses up in the air; beautiful!
As I was blasting out RHCPs By The Way album (for old times sakes) and I found some lovely little loos in the park so I thought I'd be nosey and check out one of the richest places in the worlds public lavatories, and I was far from unimpressed. Suddenly, I paused from simply floating, "I Could Die For You" was humming to myself, and since my suicidal thinking of recent times, found myself, that teary, sweaty, lonely mess, encapsulated in a foreign mirror and as I conjoined my self over the sink, in a holy matrimony, alone, I realised despite being connected via air waves and radio frequencies, inevitably, the internet has stolen a traditional fashion of meeting people but that we have become so engrossed in our technologies they are taking over the human being. I think that's so another entry at a later date though. It's as if people can't be physically bothered to be in each other's company any more. I think it's disgraceful. Can't beat them, join them, I'm existing as I write this, behind a computer screen.
I wandered the earth of this great park. Nothing makes me feel better than being around nature. I was wondering what I want from life, I came to many epiphanies and rough conclusions, not all linear and straight forward but certainly a rough idea of who I may wish to become. I would like to test myself, as nothing worth having is easy to obtain, therefore, I'd like to hold some power in society in order to allow proper justice and equality to sweep the nation. I hate seeing homeless people. There's many beautiful churches and cathedrals in London which I would have liked to go in, but in my condition at the moment I am hesitant as I do not want to tamper with my damaged spirit. This became more apparent as I walked and walked and walked and walked and walked.
I found a small art gallery which was lovely and really cool! It's The Sackler Gallery, it's free admission but I left a donation still, I was really impressed! A few friends came to mind as I was engulfed in fascination by the pieces, including those that played with visible light, sketches of faces, a little chara-couturesque, and slightly political, there was even a room with punch bags in them that posed as people in certain professions such as Doctor, Judge, Intellectual etc. Weird but though provoking, I enjoyed it a lot.
There are hundreds of dog owners over London and the pooches were incredibly cute! I'm sure there's many dog shows in London if I cared to investigate. I approached the Italian Fountains, and admired how the sun reflected over the pools of water. I walked down a quiet path and captured a pair of squirrels. It's as if every thing I witnessed, came in pairs, the business man married his job, the woman on a jog marries her body, and woman pushing her baby in the pram sustains a sacred bond with her offspring forever as she strolls proudly through the park on a beautiful day. I was rather broody too.
I toyed with the idea of hanging around Kensington for a bit only to realise that time was against me, I had no Oyster card as that is the system which commuters adhere by. I stopped a traveller bloke, sitting on his favourite bench on High Street, we talked about why he was there, where he'd come from and ironically was also brought up in Nottingham. We discussed soul missions, a little about God and angels and I offered him a coffee and said our best wishes and farewell. I continued up High Street which felt like forever, and uncomfortable, surrounded by the capital of Capitalism.
All the designer shops shouted and coaxed me "come in and dream" but protested from the bottom of my heart, I must go forward and not get distracted. Besides, London will be there for me again, if I chose to return! I was so tempted to go to Odeon but I think it's just because I miss my ex. Also, it was as if every road was tainted "masonry!" But as long as they're constructing safely and under certain regulations then who's to naysay hmm.
Creationism is hard! These priceless artworks, the infrastructure we rely on, the businesses we go to for services and treatments we cherish, London is not lacking anything you require, only solitude is next to impossible. I jumped on the train and hunted for Camden Market. My step-mother suggested it, and I felt right at home. I didn't feel like buying anything, except a book called Anatomy of Spirit and an album by The Aliens. I think I would go back to Camdem to do clothes shopping, it's really that cool! Indie mixture of VINTAGE, Goth, steam-punk, magic and tons of religious imagery, therefore the most diverse place in terms of culture I've ever heard about. I had been genuinely over whelmed and exhausted by the scene. I stopped for a tea break. I felt lost, I was contemplating getting my tattoo done down there. I donated for Terra Slim's EP. The cover of the CD is questionable, if not slightly laughable. I knocked around this joint for ages, absorbed by the people, the paintings, crafts and hot food smells. I felt sick, I felt like Karl Pilkington, I was on another planet.
I saw a psychic, being psychic myself, (self acclaimed, needs work) Potentially, could be address some big issues with all this energy, I don't know where to steer it! She suggested I see a Shaman, but it was getting late and I had an awful Migraine, one of which I have not had for a couple of years, this was a really bad one, I actually bought some sunglasses (I think my sister has some similar ones from Camden too) there are so many nice trinkets, gifts and quirky clothes stalls in Camden I think I left part of my soul there too. I sort of wanted to leave all this behind, get a job on one of the shops, and find some digs in the surrounding areas, hell even sleep on a park or under some roof, shelter etc.
It grew dark and cold quickly, I went to Trafalgar Square but by this stage I was feeling to ill to enjoy any thing any more, and I just wanted to find my way home. I listened to some street performers around sat around some fountain with horses on it and posed in meditation for the streets of Haymarket. I might go back and be a busker or some crazy street attraction, make my self in to a piece of art. Unless my brain starts working and the spirits stop distracting me, they are literally doing my head in. They're quite an unwanted distraction, I couldn't even look in Holland and Barrett as the lights were blinding my eyes! (That's a Streets joke if you didn't catch on)
Last time I felt this ill, soulless and scared was when I was on a boat in the middle of Norfolk.
I tried to come around from it all, ended up in Café Nero throwing up, begging to be with my sister, reminiscing all the folks I've connected with over coffee (I am coffee snob) gasping for water like a fish, unfortunately I had to abandon plans with my friend, my phone ran out of battery, I battled through the Underground, lost in a labyrinth, and a charging intermittent current of commuters. I was confused and felt pushed to keep moving, it was a very stressful day. I could not live there on military time, I'd have to create my own schedule.
Like I'd through some sort of War, I rode on my spirit an demanded freedom, reluctantly paid £60 (I will discuss the travel industry another time) and raced onto the train seconds before it pulled out of the station. I collapsed on the floor and begged for sleep to relieve me of the environment I detested. didn't even know if I'd got on the correct train! Drifting in and out of sleep, I was stirred by a kind member of the train staff (I'm not knocking them, just the industry) I sort of dislike the corporations but hypocritically I absolve them.
Taxi home craving my bed, home is certainly where the heart is.
More on London, fashion, healthcare and spirituality another time.
I need hair conditioner.
It began badly and ended up unimaginably worse.
I lost my coach ticket, and had a hurried conversation with the operator in hope of recovering my pass out of here. In plenty of time I arrived at the station and hopped on to a bus.
I wondered how far my soul mates would travel with me, I've been trying to get rid of them and recover my old self. The liberated one from Feb '14. But she has been torn and haunted and ridiculed by ex-lovers and false friendships. Over the last year, I began to 'wake up' and realise that every one, including my self, is just full of shit. Every one on this planet is surviving, the pressures including responsibility and enslavement through money. I can barely take care of myself. I think I might hide in my room from now on, as much as possible. The house is ok, it's warm, it's safe, I can't really ask for much more than that. Just sometimes, wish I'd never left my ex. I'm still really attached to past relationships. I'm so broken and upset about every thing, I'd self diagnose with PTSD of some degree.
When I arrived in London, I had no plans at all. I marginally wished that I had a companion to go with, or that I would conveniently bump into someone to commute around with. Then I decided I would await friendship and let my soul guide me. Some sort of soul searching was on the agenda. I think in retrospective, I allowed this to over-dictate my day in London. I was deeply moved by passer-by's, the vacant stares of a city that has drained their energy and consumed their lives. I felt sapped by the polluted air and headed straight for Hyde Park down Buckingham Palace road (which by the way, I failed to visit) It is impossible to do all of the sights of our Capital in one day; I think for a real hearty experience of London, is to stay for a week, plan everything you want to do and stick to an organised schedule - and revise those metro lines you're going to need! It's fast, affordable but the pace is immense, you won't be prepared for this so it' important to practice some deep breathing and meditative techniques before battle the London crowd!
I walked down the River Serpentine which is very relaxing and spacious, I snapped a bird or two, the morning sky with it's numerous plane trails cascading across in symmetry; I even took my shoes off at one point to, 'ground all that negative energy' - that's a film quote from the 'Wizard Dentist' in How to Lose Friends and Alienate People featuring Simon Pegg. I continued over a rather desolate looking part of Hyde Park (Nikes on my feet and flowered maxi, I was taking in my stride) London 10am is mostly people running late to the office, new mums with babe in tow, and fitness junkies doing ridiculous power walks waving their arses up in the air; beautiful!
As I was blasting out RHCPs By The Way album (for old times sakes) and I found some lovely little loos in the park so I thought I'd be nosey and check out one of the richest places in the worlds public lavatories, and I was far from unimpressed. Suddenly, I paused from simply floating, "I Could Die For You" was humming to myself, and since my suicidal thinking of recent times, found myself, that teary, sweaty, lonely mess, encapsulated in a foreign mirror and as I conjoined my self over the sink, in a holy matrimony, alone, I realised despite being connected via air waves and radio frequencies, inevitably, the internet has stolen a traditional fashion of meeting people but that we have become so engrossed in our technologies they are taking over the human being. I think that's so another entry at a later date though. It's as if people can't be physically bothered to be in each other's company any more. I think it's disgraceful. Can't beat them, join them, I'm existing as I write this, behind a computer screen.
I wandered the earth of this great park. Nothing makes me feel better than being around nature. I was wondering what I want from life, I came to many epiphanies and rough conclusions, not all linear and straight forward but certainly a rough idea of who I may wish to become. I would like to test myself, as nothing worth having is easy to obtain, therefore, I'd like to hold some power in society in order to allow proper justice and equality to sweep the nation. I hate seeing homeless people. There's many beautiful churches and cathedrals in London which I would have liked to go in, but in my condition at the moment I am hesitant as I do not want to tamper with my damaged spirit. This became more apparent as I walked and walked and walked and walked and walked.
I found a small art gallery which was lovely and really cool! It's The Sackler Gallery, it's free admission but I left a donation still, I was really impressed! A few friends came to mind as I was engulfed in fascination by the pieces, including those that played with visible light, sketches of faces, a little chara-couturesque, and slightly political, there was even a room with punch bags in them that posed as people in certain professions such as Doctor, Judge, Intellectual etc. Weird but though provoking, I enjoyed it a lot.
There are hundreds of dog owners over London and the pooches were incredibly cute! I'm sure there's many dog shows in London if I cared to investigate. I approached the Italian Fountains, and admired how the sun reflected over the pools of water. I walked down a quiet path and captured a pair of squirrels. It's as if every thing I witnessed, came in pairs, the business man married his job, the woman on a jog marries her body, and woman pushing her baby in the pram sustains a sacred bond with her offspring forever as she strolls proudly through the park on a beautiful day. I was rather broody too.
I toyed with the idea of hanging around Kensington for a bit only to realise that time was against me, I had no Oyster card as that is the system which commuters adhere by. I stopped a traveller bloke, sitting on his favourite bench on High Street, we talked about why he was there, where he'd come from and ironically was also brought up in Nottingham. We discussed soul missions, a little about God and angels and I offered him a coffee and said our best wishes and farewell. I continued up High Street which felt like forever, and uncomfortable, surrounded by the capital of Capitalism.
All the designer shops shouted and coaxed me "come in and dream" but protested from the bottom of my heart, I must go forward and not get distracted. Besides, London will be there for me again, if I chose to return! I was so tempted to go to Odeon but I think it's just because I miss my ex. Also, it was as if every road was tainted "masonry!" But as long as they're constructing safely and under certain regulations then who's to naysay hmm.
Creationism is hard! These priceless artworks, the infrastructure we rely on, the businesses we go to for services and treatments we cherish, London is not lacking anything you require, only solitude is next to impossible. I jumped on the train and hunted for Camden Market. My step-mother suggested it, and I felt right at home. I didn't feel like buying anything, except a book called Anatomy of Spirit and an album by The Aliens. I think I would go back to Camdem to do clothes shopping, it's really that cool! Indie mixture of VINTAGE, Goth, steam-punk, magic and tons of religious imagery, therefore the most diverse place in terms of culture I've ever heard about. I had been genuinely over whelmed and exhausted by the scene. I stopped for a tea break. I felt lost, I was contemplating getting my tattoo done down there. I donated for Terra Slim's EP. The cover of the CD is questionable, if not slightly laughable. I knocked around this joint for ages, absorbed by the people, the paintings, crafts and hot food smells. I felt sick, I felt like Karl Pilkington, I was on another planet.
I saw a psychic, being psychic myself, (self acclaimed, needs work) Potentially, could be address some big issues with all this energy, I don't know where to steer it! She suggested I see a Shaman, but it was getting late and I had an awful Migraine, one of which I have not had for a couple of years, this was a really bad one, I actually bought some sunglasses (I think my sister has some similar ones from Camden too) there are so many nice trinkets, gifts and quirky clothes stalls in Camden I think I left part of my soul there too. I sort of wanted to leave all this behind, get a job on one of the shops, and find some digs in the surrounding areas, hell even sleep on a park or under some roof, shelter etc.
It grew dark and cold quickly, I went to Trafalgar Square but by this stage I was feeling to ill to enjoy any thing any more, and I just wanted to find my way home. I listened to some street performers around sat around some fountain with horses on it and posed in meditation for the streets of Haymarket. I might go back and be a busker or some crazy street attraction, make my self in to a piece of art. Unless my brain starts working and the spirits stop distracting me, they are literally doing my head in. They're quite an unwanted distraction, I couldn't even look in Holland and Barrett as the lights were blinding my eyes! (That's a Streets joke if you didn't catch on)
Last time I felt this ill, soulless and scared was when I was on a boat in the middle of Norfolk.
I tried to come around from it all, ended up in Café Nero throwing up, begging to be with my sister, reminiscing all the folks I've connected with over coffee (I am coffee snob) gasping for water like a fish, unfortunately I had to abandon plans with my friend, my phone ran out of battery, I battled through the Underground, lost in a labyrinth, and a charging intermittent current of commuters. I was confused and felt pushed to keep moving, it was a very stressful day. I could not live there on military time, I'd have to create my own schedule.
Like I'd through some sort of War, I rode on my spirit an demanded freedom, reluctantly paid £60 (I will discuss the travel industry another time) and raced onto the train seconds before it pulled out of the station. I collapsed on the floor and begged for sleep to relieve me of the environment I detested. didn't even know if I'd got on the correct train! Drifting in and out of sleep, I was stirred by a kind member of the train staff (I'm not knocking them, just the industry) I sort of dislike the corporations but hypocritically I absolve them.
Taxi home craving my bed, home is certainly where the heart is.
More on London, fashion, healthcare and spirituality another time.
I need hair conditioner.
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