Depression

Hi All.

I recently read a post about 21 Habits Of Happy People from Googling Symtoms of Depression. I came across a blog written by a sufferer of the illness. They wrote their own version of the article, from the view point of someone who just can't be happy. I followed a chain of links from here to there, and decided to write down my calling on the subject.

My way of describing the illness, is a constant feeling of guilt, hopelessness and de-motivation. Like a persistent, annoying cough, a voice inside your head, telling you that you are not good enough for anything, and your self esteem reaching minus numbers. With this state of mind, you become susceptible to evil a hell of a lot more. You end up behaving recklessly, displacing your hurt onto others in your work and social life, not taking care of yourself, especially the basic human needs such as nutrition and hygiene. These elements have an effect of working you into the ground even more so. It's a downward spiral, a black abyss, a tunnel with no light in sight at the end. It's rain clouds with no rainbow, it's numb and matt in shade, with no variations except bumps in the road when you eventually find a way to take course. 

It is countlessly insinuated, with complete honesty, that depression is a massively misunderstood illness. It is appreciated when an outsider makes an effort to aid the person riding the waves, but with all due respect this person must seek the help of a professional. Even then, the battle continues, because there's no promise that one will be able to stick with their chosen method of therapy, whether it's medication, counselling, or other. 

It is imperative that the depressed person is kept in the loop of life. They need a routine, a circle of close trusted friends and family and access to resources to combat any issues refraining the person from recovery. I am not for a second suggesting a person ever totally recovers, I believe it is something that haunts you for the rest of your life, like an invisible scar. Although it is not unheard of that people do change for the better despite their difficulties, and it takes time. It is not as easy as some say, "Just be happy." That fuels my doubt in the capacity of others compassion and ignorance. There will be fall backs, you feel like you're climbing a ladder, but then it's shaken underneath and you slip and hit the concrete and sometimes too close to breaking your metaphorical neck, so you go into hiding, or hibernate. 

You want to sleep all the time.

You can't eat well, and then when you do it's always something with a lot of sugar. (There's a science behind that if you care to research.)

You want to see people but you fear what they'll think of you, because you're feeling so rough and out of shape, mentally, physically and spiritually. You cannot fathom why any one would want to spend their precious time on a "pessimistic, draining, ungrateful waste of space in society." Wah. I digress.

People are more concerned about material things than other people's problems, and I can understand why. It's hard to pull the web of perfume ads, fancy cars, smart phones, and lavish garments, away from the eyes of the western world because it in itself is a form of escapism that directs away from the reality of the human race. Plus it leaves little chance for that crucial window of emptiness, for a disclosure that this evil runs with in all of us. Just one imbalance of chemicals in your brain and your fucked forever-more. One taste of that poison and you know you're in trouble, and then you start to contemplate what every other fucker has going on in their life, and then you feel even worse about it.

I think it's Eve's fault. Why did she have to bite that bloody apple, you stupid bitch. Well we're not perfect beings, and I think we weren't supposed to be after all. It gave us a choice, and bi-polar aspects. If the road was straight and flat, boredom would kill us first. 

I think I've said enough for now, before I embarrass myself any further. Just food for thought right there. Thank you for the read.