A Beautiful Melancholy Life

I don't even know what's going on half the time. I don't trust anybody, their intentions, their actions, their words. Every thing I see I'm viewing from my card board box. I got stoned last night for the first time in a long time and I'm actually alright about it. However, I did feel like I had been vacant from my body for a while, and the whole world collapsed on me, a sensation like falling in a dream. Like dying and going back to that metaphoric, ''hell''. Although, I wasn't too scared, just uncomfortable. Embarrassed really. Who on earth would want to spend time with a person like me? Further more who the fuck would bother reading this ridiculously pointless blog, that has nothing to do with philosophy or quantum physics or reverberating ideas that will change the world. No.

I am a grain of sand, I am the atoms of the air in the palm of your hand, I am the blueness of the sky, I am that floater in your eye.

We are born of nothing, we die with nothing, and every thing in between means nothing, unless we make it so. In our own heads, our experiences influence who we are, and every second we are being enlightened. Sometimes we take drugs, or take a leap of faith, or make a decision that changes everything, and we had no idea that it would be so, detrimental. 

I am so muddled in my mind right now, I'm trying to compile my portfolio before the end of the semester, slight panic mode sinking in now, I've come to realise I had more work to do than at the start, but that's just the way it is for us all!

What influenced me the most to write this script about healthy life styles is because of the vast amount of people I see passing me by down the streets of my home town day in day out, smoking cigarettes, stressing out, rushing about, work, education, family, friends, hobbies, and all occurring at once can become quite problematic. We forget to take care of ourselves from the inside, through relaxation, wholesome nutritious meals, a casual walk for fresh air and a stretch of those tired limbs. Every body seems to be wrapping themselves up with debts, self created problems, emotions taking over routine and sanctuary of the mind... and so, when it comes to the weekend, it's let your hair down, go wild and spend all your pay cheque, because hey, money isn't just supposed to sit in your bank account right? I digress. It is so important that as a generation of the new age, we impose as a good example on our youngsters. It has been heard that children as young as 12 are getting hold of these electronic cigarettes as to some how impress their school friends, and appear to be cool or mature. Alcohol abuse is still a massive problem in all areas of Europe, and the student life style involves pressures from acquaintances.........

Anyway. My blog posts are getting duller and duller, I know I know...
I just think I may be having some sort of writers block. I don't have the capacity to articulate my thoughts well enough in writing at this current time in my life. 

I hear this little voice inside of me, "Are you starting to get it a bit more now, Sabrina?"
I said yeah, I know, I know...